Shelter
Whilst I’m stuck by the socket, I need to charge my phone, I’m also chatting to my youngest, who’s travelled to Budapest. Every now and then, when there’s an internet connection, we exchange a few words. I asked her if she’s planning to go to the cat café over there. According to her, travel costs have gone up; in her case, this is certainly true as her student card is no longer valid. I also tell her that I’ve given up a lot of things over the past week, or is it two weeks now? I’ve stepped down from my role at the charity shop, and the same goes for my position on the board. It’s hard to stay enthusiastic and put a lot of energy into something when there’s someone who’s been doing it on their own for years and thinks their word is law. By now, she has to start with a new board (don’t be shocked) number 22! You’d think that when things go wrong so often, a person would at least take a moment to reflect on their own behaviour. This is clearly not the case, or perhaps this person is clinging to the proverb: ‘You can’t uproot an old tree’ (which, incidentally, isn’t necessarily true).
Everything we surround ourselves with, or everything we own, and this applies to relationships too, takes time and energy. This time and energy are precious to me, and I know I no longer want to invest them in everything and everyone, simply because it’s generally a bottomless pit. Or as other proverbs puts it: ‘mopping with the tap running’ or ‘carrying water to the sea’.
A few days ago, I also stopped attending the private painting lessons and the painting group, and with that the (low level) workshops have consequently come to an end. There’s nothing I do there that I can’t do at home, and at home, in my own shelter, I can at least work with concentration and do things the way I want to.
I’m quite a pushover when it comes down to it, and over the past few weeks I’ve mainly been listening to all the things that are wrong with other people. I can tell you that this isn’t without its impact. At first, I always just think: the speaker needs to let off steam and get things off their chest, and that’s perfectly fine, but when there’s no change and the bashing of others continues, I have a problem with it and I speak up. This doesn’t go down well, as I’m expected to agree with the speaker. That’s not how it works for me. I have my own opinion, and I don’t think it’s necessary to have to listen time and again to everything someone else is doing wrong.
Then I think: "steek een hand in eigen boesem" (another lovely Dutch expression).
You don’t need anyone to make you feel unhappy; you’re perfectly capable of doing that yourself. For me, therefore, the best thing is to cut ties and get on with what I love doing most. It’s something I’d recommend to everyone. Life is hard enough as it is, and you don’t need to make it harder for yourself. Once stress sets in, and I’m seeing this in more and more people around me, the only thing that helps is to do as many enjoyable things for yourself as possible and steer clear of anyone who’s negative. Yes, of course this might also mean you end up on your own, but being alone isn’t the same as being lonely, and it’s certainly better than being surrounded by a lot of negative energy; you shouldn’t put yourself through that.
Incidentally, no job pays well enough to justify being treated like a piece of rubbish.
The home I share isn’t big, mind you, but as we’re all introverts, very creative and each lead our own lifestyle, living together works perfectly. We certainly don’t get in each other’s way, and once a day we chat about how the day’s gone before retreating back into our own shelter (the creative bubble).
The painting group has now been at it for an hour. Last Sunday I collected my things, although it wasn’t clear at the time that I’d be leaving, but I don’t regret it. Where there’s a beginning, there’s also an end.
16.9.26
Prompt: see title
#ccc #freewrite #thoughts #life #steemexclusive
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¡Qué locura que esa persona ya vaya por la directiva número 22 y no se detenga a reflexionar! En mi experiencia, retirarse a tiempo cuando sientes que estás cargando agua al mar es la decisión más sana para el liderazgo personal. Mucho mejor usar esa energía para pintar tranquila en casa y charlar con tu hija sobre Budapest.
Hola @jhelbich ! Me gustaría crear un grupo de WhatsApp con usuarios paraguayos de Steem, te sumas?
There’s a lot of wisdom in your words. I know a lot of people who let others treat them like psychoanalysts, taking on all the negativity.
My godmother is one of those people who reaches out to you when something bad happens, but never invites you to a happy occasion. Once, she called to talk to my mother after years of not even calling to say hello.
She always did the same thing, and that day my mother was crying on the phone just from listening. When the call ended, I asked if something serious had happened, like the death of a child. But no.
So I grabbed my phone and texted her a few home truths, telling her that if she was going to call just to vent, she’d be better off not calling at all. And that if it was going to be good news or to talk about something positive, we’d always be there for her. She never called again.
I don’t regret it because, as you say, no one needs other people to have a bad day.
Besides, it would never occur to me to call someone else just to use them as a catharsis.
Translated with DeepL.com (free version)
Mucha sabiduría en tus palabras. Conozco mucha gente que deja que los demás lo traten como psicoanalista cargando con toda la negatividad.
Mi madrina de bautismo es de esas personas que te buscan cuando pasa algo malo, pero nunca te invita a un acontecimiento feliz. Una vez, llamó por teléfono para hablar con mi madre luego de años de no llamar ni para saludar.
Siempre hacía lo mismo, y ese día mi madre estaba llorando al teléfono casi solo escuchando. Cuando terminó de conversar averigüé si pasó algo grave como algún hijo muerto. Pero no.
Entonces tomé mi teléfono y le escribí unas cuantas verdades, y que si iba llamar para descargarse, que mejor no llame. Y que si va a ser para noticias buenas o hablar algo positivo siempre estaríamos. Nunca más llamó.
No me arrepiento porque como dices, nadie necesita de otros para tener un día malo.
Por otra parte, a mí jamás se me ocurriría llamar a otra persona solo para usarla de catarsis.