How I Lost My Unborn Baby, And How God Gave Me - My Rainbow After The Storm

Hello beautiful ladies of Steem ,

I want to share my painful but also testimony story with all of you today. This is a story I have kept in my heart for a long time, but I believe it is time to share it.

June 6th is a date I will never forget in my life.

Last year, on June 6th, I lost my unborn baby. It is over one year now, but if I close my eyes, I can still remember everything that happened that day like it was yesterday. The pain is still fresh in my heart, and writing this today, makes my heart ache.

I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant. My husband and I had prayed, and when the test came out positive, we were full of joy. I started imagining how our baby would look, what name we would give, how I would dress the baby. Every morning I would wake up and touch my stomach and talk to my baby. I was already a mother to my children, but this pregnancy felt special because we waited for a baby girl for long time.

pregnant me

The pregnancy was going fine at first. I was going for antenatal, taking my drugs, doing everything the doctor asked me to do. I had no major issue until that week. I started feeling somehow, but I thought it was just normal pregnancy stress.

On the night of June 4th, I could not sleep well. I was feeling somehow uncomfortable. My body was somehow, I couldn't breath well, but I thought maybe the baby just changed position. The next morning, June 5th, I woke up and I noticed I was not feeling the baby kick like before. At first I thought maybe the baby was sleeping. I drank cold water, I lay down on my left side, I touched my belly and was calling my baby, but there was no movement.

So I thought maybe baby will respond and move later in the night when I'm resting.

Later in the night, baby still didn't move I did everything I could but baby wasn't moving. My heart started beating fast.

I called my husband and told him I was not feeling the baby. He told me to calm down, that maybe the baby was just tired. But inside me, as a mother, I knew something was wrong. A mother knows. We rushed to the hospital.

At the hospital, they took me to the scan room. I was lying on that bed, and the sonographer was moving the machine on my stomach. He was not saying anything. He just kept looking at the screen and pressing. I asked him, "Is my baby okay?" He did not answer me immediately. He kept on doing what he was doing.

When done scanning me. Then he looked at me and said, "Madam, I am sorry, there is no heartbeat."

In that moment, my whole body became weak. I shouted, I held my husband and I was crying like a baby. I kept saying, No, check again, my baby was kicking yesterday, check again.

But the doctor said the baby had already passed in the womb. I had to deliver my dead baby, she was already nine months and was ready to be delivered but she couldn't make it out alive. I had to go through labour pains to bring out a baby that would not cry because I was induced.

So I was induced on the 6th of June 2025. That pain is not something I can explain with words. The physical pain of labour, plus the emotional pain of knowing you will not hear the cry of your baby, it broke me. When I delivered, it was a beautiful baby girl. I looked at my baby, but my baby was not moving. I cried till I had no more tears. They took my baby away and I was just lying there empty. I came to the hospital pregnant and I went home with empty hands.

After that, I went into depression. For months I could not sleep well. Anytime I saw a pregnant woman or a newborn baby, I would start crying. I was asking God, "Why me?" I was blaming myself, thinking maybe I did something wrong, maybe I failed my baby, maybe I was careless.

Months later, God showed us mercy. I found out I was pregnant again. I didn't know I was pregnant until after 3 months. When I saw the positive test, I was happy but at the same time, I was very scared. The fear started immediately.

From the first day of the new pregnancy, anxiety took over my life. Every small pain in my stomach, I would panic. Every day I was checking if the baby was kicking. If the baby did not kick for 10 minutes, my heart would start beating fast.

Because of that fear and restlessness, my blood pressure started rising. At one of my antenatal visits, the nurse checked my blood pressure and it was very high. She asked me if I was resting well and I told her I was not. I was restless all through the pregnancy. I could not rest. My mind was not at peace. I was always thinking about June 6th.

The doctor warned me that high blood pressure in pregnancy is dangerous. They placed me on bed rest and gave me drugs to control it. They told me to try to calm down, but how can you calm down when you have lost a child before

The third trimester was the hardest. My body was tired, my mind was tired, but I could not sleep. I was restless. I would walk around the house in the middle of the night. I would be counting my baby's kicks, I will be praying every time even on the road, wherever I am I will be praying.

I was already nine months going to ten months, but I wasn't going in to labor. Then baby movement reduced and I started panicking, I went to the doctor that I want to be induced. Told him I'm scared because baby is getting bigger and her movement has also reduced.

Then doctor wrote a note and gave me to take to the clinic pharmacy which I did. I was given some drugs to take to the delivery ward, when I got there I gave the nurse the items and she asked me get my hospital bag ready.

I called my husband to come to clinic with my hospital bag. I was induced with the first dose but it failed. Then nurse did the second dose and 2 hours later I was close to 10cm dilated.

Then came the time of delivery. I was so scared. My blood pressure was high that morning because of anxiety. But I kept praying. After some minutes of pushing, I heard a cry. A loud, beautiful cry. My baby girl cried. I started crying too. The nurse placed her on my chest and she was alive and beautiful.

When I look at my baby girl today, I see God's mercy. She is beautiful, she is healthy, and she is my rainbow after the storm. She did not replace the baby I lost on June 6th. I will always remember that baby. But God comforted me with another child.

my beautiful rainbow baby

If you are reading this and you have lost a baby before, I want you to know that I understand your pain. It is okay to cry. It is okay to be scared in your next pregnancy. But please, go for your antenatal early, check your blood pressure always, and hold on to God.

I thank God for my rainbow baby girl. She is my testimony that God still gives beauty for ashes.

Thank you for reading my story, my dear sisters.