This Is ME!

For days, I have been thinking about this post, and the one song that kept playing in my head was "This Is Me" from The Greatest Showman.

I was wondering what to write at first and then I found inspiration from our friends who have posted. Thank you!

Personally, I resonate with most of what has been shared and, when I reflect upon myself, I do realize that I am a pretty unique me (occasionally nasty if I have to 😄).

Let me start from the top - my head 😄.

I have had gray and white hair since I was nine, and I dyed them until about four years ago when I suddenly had an epiphany. Why should I waste hours dyeing and be someone I am not? And so it started, I stopped dyeing. I just let my hair be and I have never felt so liberated! I no longer feel anxious when I see the whites sprouting from the scalp. I don't care when people tell me I should dye my hair to look younger. I thought to myself, what for? I like the way I am. I get back hours previously spent on hair dyeing every 2 to 3 weeks. Although, I have to admit, I do get confused looks from kind souls in the train, wondering if they should offer me a seat or not 🤣. Usually, I would politely decline.

Next - my face.

I have been told before that I have a thousand facial expressions. Well, I don't think I have a thousand. Maybe a hundred. 😂 I am pretty expressive... or not hahaha. In school, I joined school debates, plays, choir, choral speaking, elocution, story telling contests, all for the reason to improve my speaking and writing skills. I learned to express myself, to let go, and to be myself in different forms and in a different light. I lost, I equaled, I won some, but who cares, I enjoyed every bit of the experiences I got from them. I felt proud most times, I found my voice and my outlet.

Personally, I don't wear makeup. I've always preferred to be comfortable in my own skin and show up as I am. Others may enjoy makeup and that's perfectly fine, but it has never really been for me.

And just so you know, when you read me, it is EXACTLY how I speak in real life hahaha. If you read all the awwws and oooos, and oh and ah and ok ok and hahas and hehes, it is how I speak 😁If we do meet someday, you can hear it yourself hehe.

And then we move on to my limbs 😄

I have a confession - I am a smacker. When I talk to people whom I feel kinda close to, I usually would smack their shoulders (affectionately and softly - although sometimes in excitement, it might be slightly harder 😅or if the person forgot something I asked them to do). This might be the nasty bit about me haha. You can say that when I speak, I am the kind where hands move all over the place. Expressive maybe? Yup, this is ME.

I am the kind who likes to do my own thing, my own way. When I order a latte, I like mine with more milk, less coffee and most franchised cafes have their way of making lattes, 1 shot with this much of milk. I would ask them for less shot please. At restaurants which give bottomless drinks, where we can get our own from the dispenser, whether it's Coke, 7-Up, ice lemon tea, or Sprite, I would mix them all into one glass.. Yup, this is ME.

I like pastel colors but I like black too. Depends on my mood. Yes, I can be quite dependent on mood. If I don't feel like it, I won't do it. If I feel like it, I will do it. I don't like cleaning but I like the result of cleaning, so I force myself to clean every week (this part, not really me but I need to do it to achieve the me part).

I break into songs sometimes when I speak.. Just for the fun of it haha. I hear songs in my head all the time and I hum.. anywhere. I don't care if there are people around me, I will hum if I feel like it. And if I like a song with good beat, I would break into a dance like move. Just so you know, I am not great in either but I think acceptable. Hahah.

I like my quiet time in cafes or just stay at home, watching online videos of how restaurant owners prep before they open, moving on to serving time and ends with closing time. I like mundanity, doing the same things every day, eating similar foods, simply because I like it. I have had people telling me that the stuffs I do are boring, but I don't feel that. I like it, I do it. This is ME. What do you care?

In most parts, I am an ambivert. I am quiet but I can be loud and vocal when I need to. If something is not right, I will speak up. Else, I am a peaceful person. I do realize certain traits that I have are of my family's or people I admire in life. I scream and shout in concerts, I would shout across a lecture hall with hundreds of people to call a friend. I don't care what people think of me because I am happy doing those things haha. Most times, they shy away from me, pretending not to know me but I would call them out too haha because this is ME.

When it comes to "friends", I have cut ties with many. I don't need so-called friends from school, from college, from old companies, who meet once a year during the holiday seasons, talk as though we are such good friends when we are not. You don't really know me and you don't care anyway. Why ask how am I and what I am doing, every year when we meet? Truth is, I don't care either. So, let's not meet anymore. And I left the chat groups. It felt so peaceful on the day I did. I love it!

Now, I shall continue to go be myself, till my next post about whatever ✌️.

And you know what is the hardest part of this post? This drawing 😅

And this is in response to @wakeupkitty's Be Yourself contest.