My first child—the experience of becoming a mother for the first time.

Assalamu Alaikum. How is everyone? I hope you are all doing well. Today, I want to share a different kind of story from my life. Sharing what’s on my mind makes me feel much lighter. To begin with, while I can manage to be away from everyone else, I cannot bear to be away from my daughter. I am currently living apart from my husband, my mother, and everyone else—yet I cannot spend even a single night without my three-year-old daughter.

I truly do not know what the future holds or what will happen to me. I am pregnant again, with only one month left. A thousand thoughts are swirling in my mind. How will I live without my daughter? Will I survive, or will I perish? Only the Almighty knows. Still, I try to stay brave and keep my faith, praying to Allah: "Please, keep me alive—at least for the sake of my children."

The feelings of a mother are beyond words. I am living through such a stressful time. Ever since I became a mother myself, I have truly understood what mothers are like; I know all that my own mother has sacrificed for me. Just as my mother feels pain when I suffer, I feel deep pain whenever my daughter suffers.

It feels like it was only a few days ago that I became a mother. Now, three years have passed, and my daughter has entered her fourth year. Watching her grow, I realize just how quickly time flies. I used to spend the entire day holding her in my arms—playing, chatting in our own little way, and enjoying her playful, mischievous moments. Those small, sweet antics used to fill my days.

I worry about how I will be able to dedicate time to her in the future. My mind is constantly occupied with the thought that, in just one month, a new little one will arrive. I keep wondering how I will manage to give time to my daughter. I know that the arrival of a new baby will bring significant changes to my life, but my love for my daughter will never diminish.

This is the only comfort I can offer myself. She is my firstborn—my first experience of motherhood. My life has been shaped by her, and so many of my memories revolve around her. My greatest concern is how I will manage to be away from her during my delivery; she simply cannot bear to be apart from me. I cannot bear to be apart from my child. Even if I am in the hospital, my child will look for me and want to be by my side.

I don’t know how I will manage myself in such a situation. Sometimes, I think a lot about my own mother. Perhaps I didn’t understand it when I was younger, but now I realize how deeply a mother worries about her child. Having become a mother myself, I can truly grasp those maternal feelings. I only pray to Allah to make my delivery smooth, to keep my unborn child healthy, and to ensure I return safely to my two children.

Finally, I ask for everyone’s prayers—please pray for my unborn child, and for my precious little one. That is all for today; take care, stay healthy. Allah Hafiz.