Steem4nigeria Accelerator Contest Week 147: Marriage Rites
Marriage is one of the most important traditions in my culture. It's not just a man and woman choosing to spend their lives together. It is also a story of uniting two families into one. Marriage is given respect in a lot of Nigerian communities as the starting point of a new family and a new generation. While every ethnic group values its own customs and traditions, there is one common thread: celebrating love, unity, respect and commitment. I have always been fascinated with wedding ceremonies, as they're all about culture, happiness, music, prayer and blessings from family and friends.
The traditional introduction and engagement ceremony is a wedding ritual that I find very romantic. The groom and his family make a formal visit to the bride's family prior to the marriage. Both families have the opportunity of getting to know one another during this visit. The grooms' family typically brings gifts including drinks, kolanuts, fruits and other traditional items (according to community traditions). This event helps the couples' family to get acquainted before getting married. I think this tradition is significant because marriage is not only between two individuals, but it's between two families.
I like another aspect of the old wedding ceremony which is when the bride is asked if she really takes the husband. In several Nigerian cultures, the bride is called out and asked by all the people whether she will marry the man. She might even have to look for her groom among the guests before she places a cap or gives him a drink, indicating acceptance. I like this bit because it illustrates that marriage should be never forced. It reminds all that true love is one of free choice, mutual respect and understanding. When you see this moment, you always have joy because it is usually laughed, excited and happy moment.
Another aspect of marriage in many communities is the payment of the bride price. Some people mistakenly believe that this is a tradition of buying the bride. But, this is not the actual meaning. The bride price is a token of thanking and appreciation of the bride's parents who raised and cared for their daughter. In many areas, it is more important what kind of respect is given in the process than how much. I think this custom is to make young people appreciate their families and the sacrifices of their parents in raising up their children.
Over the years, my community have undergone a lot of changes in the way marriages are performed. Traditionally, weddings were very simple. Families sat together, traditional music was played, food was distributed and emphasis was given primarily to customs and prayers. The day of marriage has turned into a much larger and costlier affair today. A great deal of couples book big event centres, employ expert decorators, photographers, video makers, musicians and event planners. Social media has also had an impact on weddings, as many couples want a day that's picture and video worthy. I sometimes think that people nowadays are more concerned about their looks than the true meaning of marriage, although these changes have made weddings more colorful and attractive.
Marriage customs have also been shaped by religion in a lot of the Nigerian communities. In these days, many couples first tie the knot with the traditional marriage before opting for a church marriage or a mosque marriage. They can do this in order to show respect for their cultural traditions and also for their religious beliefs. I believe it's a good thing because it helps folks hold on to their culture, and it helps them practice their faith. It demonstrates the possibility of coexisting traditions and religions.
The ceremony of marriage is of great significance to keep the culture and identity of a community alive. These ceremonies help younger generations to understand their traditions, language, dressing style, music, dances, and traditions. At weddings, the traditional dresses like agbada, aso oke, gele, wrappers, beads and others are proudly displayed. Elders also have an opportunity to share with the younger ones some of the values of the family, respect, honesty, patience and responsibility. These traditions would help to prevent the loss of many cultural practices if they were not in place. So I think that's why marriage ceremonies are important to the survival of our culture.
Even though these rite expectations are important, many couples encounter great difficulties in meeting them as they enter into marriage today. The expensive marriage ceremonies is one of the most difficult problems. In some communities so many products are required from the bride's family that it is very expensive. For young couples, who are just beginning their lives, it can be difficult to meet these demands. Some even delay marriage due to the inability to cover all the costs. Marriage ceremonies should be made more inexpensive, so that love is not deferred due to financial issues, I believe, because the families.
Another problem is the interracial, intercultural marriage. There may be particular customs each family prefers to follow, and there might be some conflict about this. There could also be language barriers and differing expectations regarding the conduct of the ceremony. But these differences can be overcome with love, patience, understanding and open communication. I think that the marriage is made even stronger by respecting each other's traditions since both families feel included in the marriage.
The Rites of marriage have also been altered by modern ways of life. A large number of young people are employed or studying in different cities or in another country. This has led to the shortening of some old ceremonies or adjustments to them in order to accommodate today's schedules. With the help of technology, family members that are unable to make the trip can do so through live video streaming. Some traditions have been altered, but the primary purpose of marriage is still the same: "a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Gen 2:24).
I think the most crucial thing that I believe about any marriage ceremony is not the high-end decorations, the overflowing function or the nice dresses. The real joys of marriage lie in true love, trust, understanding, patience, forgiveness, and respect.
I invite @eveetim , @xkool24 and @mikitaly @sahmie and @bossj23 and @benton3 to drop a very constructive comments on this post and also to participate in this contest.
You have clearly stated points about marriage rites in many ethnicity. The most important statement is about the love which supersedes every uneven marriage customs
I enjoyed reading your post because you didn't just describe the marriage rites, you also explained the meaning behind them. The part that stood out to me was where you said the bride price is a symbol of appreciation rather than buying the bride. Unfortunately, many people misunderstand that tradition, so I like that you clarified its real purpose.
I also agree with your observation that some weddings today focus too much on decorations and social media while the true values of love, trust, patience, and commitment receive less attention. Those values are what sustain a marriage long after the celebration is over.
One small suggestion is that you could include an example from a wedding you have attended or witnessed. A personal experience would make your points even more engaging and give readers a clearer picture of the traditions you described. Overall, this was a thoughtful and well-structured post that was enjoyable to read.