Weekly Contest, "Playing photographer #7 Wrinkled papers" The Paper Under My Bed I Can't Throw Away
I have a secret under my bed. Not money. Not a diary. Just a wrinkled piece of paper that I’m too scared to throw away and too scared to use.
It’s my job application. I wrote it 4 months ago. Spent all night making it perfect. Every word felt like I'm begging to be picked. I practiced my signature several times so it wouldn’t look shaky.
The morning I was supposed to go submit it, I got scared and I asked myself what if I’m not good enough? What if this is the last chance and I waste it? So I folded it. Then unfolded it. Then crumpled it and threw it in the bin.
At midnight I couldn’t sleep. I dug it out of the trash, smoothed it on my knee, and ironed the wrinkles with my palm until my hand hurt . Then I slid it under my bed. Safe. Hidden.
Every night when I sleep, I remember it's there. A reminder of the thing I wanted but too scared to go for. Sometimes I pull it out and read it. Sometimes I just touch the corner to remind myself it’s still there.
Today I took it out for photos. The close-up of the wrinkles that look like my worries. The paper on my table with my pen next to it. My hand holding the pen, like I’m still deciding. 
I don’t know if tomorrow I’ll finally go. But this wrinkled paper is proof that I tried. That I wanted something enough to lose sleep over it. And maybe that’s the first step.
Did you go, did you go? Always so daunting when it comes to decisions like this. But you won't know until you try. Just go for it!
I love how you wrote this and photographed the wrinkled papers, the positioning, so brilliantly sharp, center of attention.
Thank you so much
Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing the most in life
I have searched for jobs, to the extent I begged someone close to me, an elderly person, to follow me and beg the owner of the place , so I can do volunteering work for him in his shop.
I did that for months and I decided to stop.
Like, what is the need of working for free every day from the 7:30 am till 8:30 pm totally free. No off days. I'm only at home on Sunday because it's Sunday , I go to church. What if there was no Sunday , I could have been at work
The most funny part was after I left, I decided to seek for job somewhere else and the owner included Sunday 🤣 , time is from 7:00am till 10:00pm. Way worst than my previous place
Right now, there is no motivation of any kind to work for anyone again. This situation makes me feel less of myself. I see people go to work , I'm just living . Fighting with my demons.
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0.36 STEEM,
0.36 SP
If you work for free you set the rules! I also do work a bit and for free, but only if I feel to it to plus I want the costs for travelling, food, drinks and do as I like. I take care of the business, I clean and I sew clothes being sold for at least 100 euros a piece.
I rather stay in bed as working myself to death while filling someone else's pockets.
Start for yourself! Little steps for the bit extra.
I agree
In some places here you can set the rules
But in this place I worked, he set the rules and if you don't agree with that, you leave
At that point I needed to feel busy and be busy
So I had no choice
So leave, since it is already abuse to let you work without payment. He should be grateful you are willing to. You are not a slave!you can keep yourself busy, there's plenty what you can do. The only thing it is good for is to say you have work experience. But even that can be made up or be online work, homework or whatever.
Yes. I already made the decision
It doesn't worth the stress
If i ever want to work for free because of experience then i should be able to set my own rules
No hay nada que nos detenga más que el miedo. Tal vez por eso ese papel que quizás pudo haber representado un nuevo empleo, solo represente inseguridad o de falta de credibilidad en uno mismo. ¿Puede alguien escapar de este sentimiento de miedo? Creo que NO. Yo también lo he vivido, tanto, que soy capaz de reconocerlo desde lejos.
Me encantó leerte. Un abrazo.
Es verdad, el miedo nos frena, pero hablar de eso ya es un paso. Gracias por entenderlo tan bien. Te mando un abrazo enorme
It's true, fear holds us back, but talking about it is already a step. Thank you for understanding it so well. Sending you a huge hug
Some time ago, I read the novel El cielo ha vuelto by Clara Sánchez. In it, the protagonist carried a "latex balloon—one of those you inflate by mouth"—and when she went to a modeling audition for the first time, she blew it up, tied a knot in it, and tossed it into the air, saying, "There go my fears." I liked this way of releasing tension so much that I always keep a small balloon in my purse; whenever something intimidates me to the point of paralysis, I inflate the balloon, tie it off, and set it adrift. It may sound hard to believe, but that simple action gives me strength. Warm regards.
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I love that balloon idea.
Sometimes I used to scream to let it out, but it's been a long time since I did that.
It just ends up giving me a headache.
Now I just take a very deep breath through my mouth instead.
Excellent. The balloon, precisely, allows us to release what we carry inside.
Excelente. El globo, precisamente, permite soltar lo que llevamos por dentro.
Read what @newton666 wrote in CCC about fear! Create something.
The same counts for you @solperez.
https://steemit.com/ccc/@newton666/the-philosophy-of-terror-why-i-dwell-beyond-reality
Alright I will check it
Hola amiga @beckymia.
Quiero felicitarte por esta publicación la narrativa es muy interesante , desde el.primer párrafo causa curiosidad.
Lograste una buena combinación entre el relato y las fotografías que te quedaron muy bien, tienen buen enfoque y llaman mucho la atención.
Creo que tú publicación es muy buena, solo un pequeño detalle si usas la guía para el formato Markdown lucirá mucho mejor y tú escrito se verá muy profesional.
Con esta guía puedes justificar el texto para que se vea bien alineado, separar los parrafos para que se pueda leer aún mejor.
Trata de que las proporciones de las fotografías sean iguales.
Tu texto y tus fotos son muy buenas merecen también verse bien.
Exitos en el concurso amiga.
Saludos 😊
#s34improvement
Gracias por tomarte el tiempo de leer y dejar tu comentario 🥰
Me alegra que te gustaran las fotos y el texto.
Tomaré en cuenta lo de Markdown, a veces uno se olvida de esos detalles.
Te deseo mucho éxito también
Thank you for taking the time to read and leave your comment 🥰
I’m glad you liked the photos and the text.
I’ll keep the Markdown thing in mind, sometimes I forget those little details.
Wishing you lots of success too
A great entry. Not just a photo, but also your text is catchy.
Is this title required?
The hashtag "club" means nothing. Better replace it by.#creativewritingband #creative.
🍀❤️
Thank you
Seems like the title is required.
#club was stated in the instruction
I will correct that from now on
Thank you 😊
Greetings, friend @beckymia
Good photos. Thanks for joining the contest.
Participant #2
Thank you 😊