Let me stop by and advice you on how to write a good introduction post on steemit, this will help you to improved your subsequent writing.
As a newbie, you have to listen to your mentor before you sign up in steemit platform.
When coming as a newbie,the playcard is to display only your username, country, date of signing up ,not write a lot of words on it as you are doing.

Another thing is making propare use of the markdowns that you were thought by your mentor, and paragraphing your work.
So please contact your mentor for more tutorial,so as to help you make up to standards on steemit platform,the use of hashtags should not be under your write up.so as your username implies,@mrprogress try to make progress, you will not regret being a steemian.

#s34improvement