I had one of the weirdest dreams yet where I was shot and died

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Most of my dreams are just made up by my brain from what I was thinking or watching videos and more.

I am sleeping now like before in an intermittent manner, I am still thankful that I can sleep unlike in the past where I am just too insomniac that my eyes hurt so much trying to close them so that I can get some rest for my brain because I know that if I cannot sleep for more than three days straight, then I will going to be organically crazy. I was able to cope with my insomnia for so many years where until now I am still not getting a normal sleep patter but rather an intermittent type of sleeping.

Anyway for almost every session of sleep I would get some dreams with it and this particular dream of mine is very weird for the reason that it is full of emotion. There are things that I could not remember anymore but the story goes like this. Me and my brother attended our church, I was in a wheelchair and then after a while, one of the ministers had sit one my side and reprimanded me in wearing an inadequate facemask considering that I was wearing double.

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I think that the origin of this scenario was that people are treating me like a trash because of my appearance and condition by not being normal in that regard.

We then argued in a heated manner because it came to a point that he was accusing me of selling some face mask in the church premises which I don't. Then I saw people around me including him for not wearing face masks, it mad me wonder why I am being singled-out considering my physical condition. That scenario had me me very upset and angry why they are being so mean to me and thought about my former church pastor not being there to the rescue because he already passed a few years ago.

So me and my brother went out to go home but there are things that happened while it was happening because I could not remember the details anymore. However the scene goes that we are both armed with rifles and wearing a fatigue. We caught up with this vehicle that would carry us out from the church compound. I told myself we will get killed if they saw us with this kind of attire complete with rifles, my being a wheelchair-bound condition is now irrelevant at that point.

After a few seconds of passing the gate we were gunned down as if stray bullets had hit us both. I didn't look at my brother because I knew that he was dead or dying already while I myself is wondering why it didn't hurt so much but I just let go and waited for my death. When I was dying I had thought about my mother because I regret that I was not able to leave her my finances but there was a scene that i actually did it before I died where I cashed-out and transferred my money to her plus some cryptocurrency which actually gave me some peace before dying.

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Having some peace of mind before dying is one of the things that we should do before leaving this world.

I cannot remember if my dream was interrupted or if another segment of dream happened but it was one of the dreams that I had where I actually died and did what I want to happen before I died. The dream was more complexed than this story but I am glad that it was just a dream...or maybe a nightmare too depending on how you view it. The good thing is that I am able to let out steam from my brain so that my brain would continue to be normally functioning.

I have so many things in my life that I am thinking about even after my own physical death. I have issues in my body that are hopeless to get fixed due to the extent of the damages plus the amount of money which should be spent to mend it back again. But I still have the crazy thought of trying to cling on an invisible hope that will just lead to nothing but rather spending precious time in wanting to achieve it. But aiming for these things makes my mind pre-occupied and exciting because it keeps me going and moving forward rather than losing hope and giving-up.

But what is important for me now is that I can get to solve my immediate needs without bothering anyone financially. In fact I never did beg anyone for money in particular because I know that people with just cut me off from their lives if I do. Now that I am fortunate enough to be independent in that regard, my million thanks to God. However my unfortunate situation in my life always bothers me of course because we only live once in this world but I missed doing what I wanted to do but at least for now I am not in the lowest situation and I just regard it as a miracle from God.

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I have so many reasons to thank God for no matter that my life is a mix of unfortunate events and hardships with fortunate things which makes my life so peculiar and...weird which most people could not simply comprehend, much less understand.