Pursuing Wellness: Healing and Truth
People who have been through difficult and traumatic times typically have a genuine desire to heal and move past any lingering psychological blocks that are keeping them stuck.
However, what we say we want and what our actions actuslly say can be teo very different things.
I get to see this first-hand as a counselor and minister when clients come to me "seeking healing" from some kind of trauma, but it does not take long before they "let me know" that they actually just want to talk about their trauma, not actually heal from it.
Much of the time, the problem is that they don't want to tell me the truth about their situation, leaving me instead to guess. Which I am not willing to do, at least not beyond a certain point.
While it definitely can be very difficult to recount a traumatic event — or protracted abuse — there can be no effective healing if we don't get all the cards out on the table.
Of course, I often get loud protests when I point out that a client is "withholding."
They will insist that they are "telling the truth" but go quiet when I point out that only sharing some small corner of a story will get us nowhere.
Depending on the degree to which someone is resistant to opening up enables me to decide whether or not that person is actually ready to work on healing their trauma.
In case you're wondering why a person wouldn't want to heal, the primary reason is that when you're "wounded" you tend to get special treatment and concessions from those around you, and when you choose healing, you give up that attention. And some folks are just not ready to do that.
Another common reason is the fear of possibly discovering that you aren't actually as "wounded" as you thought you were.
Both of these are maladaptive behaviors, sometimes requiring some separate therapeutic work to address, before we can get any further.
Regardless, true healing asks us to be completely honest and open — including not lying to ourselves — in order to get the results we want.
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The gap between stated intentions and actual behavior is where most healing work gets stuck. I've seen this pattern in community support circles where people talk about moving forward but keep recreating the same conflicts. What's one small action you've noticed that consistently signals someone is genuinely ready to change rather than just talking about it?
The gap between stated desire and actual action in healing creates a fascinating race condition for the mind. I've noticed this especially when people cling to victim identity as a protective shield, even when consciously seeking growth. What's the smallest question that could flip it from protection to possibility?
The gap between stated intentions and actual behavior is where most healing work truly begins. I've noticed this in my own life when I'd say I wanted to let go of past hurts but kept revisiting the stories that reinforced them. The post mentions psychological blocks but doesn't explore how these blocks can sometimes serve a hidden purpose, like protecting us from repeating painful situations. What's one small action you could take today that honors your healing without requiring a grand gesture?
You put words on something I have seen but never named, that pursuing thread. Platforms survive on the feeling that someone is actually listening. What made you stay in this community yourself?
The gap between stated intentions and actual behavior is where the real healing work begins. I've noticed this often when people talk about wanting change but keep choosing comfort zones that reinforce old patterns. What small daily choices have you observed that bridge this divide between wanting to heal and actively moving toward it?