After reading your post, I realized that recognizing your anxiety, understanding your fears, and being aware of them is an act of courage. I know that not expressing our feelings can sometimes protect us from many external situations, but internally, it isn't healthy for us. I can understand what you're going through. I would just say: let yourself feel your fear and anxiety instead of holding them inside. Don't force your body, heart, or emotions to carry everything alone. Try to express your feelings wherever you feel safe even if it's only when you're by yourself. Understand the root of your fears and anxiety, and I hope one day you find the freedom to live without being controlled by them.
Wishing you peace, strength, and healing. 🤍