The Art of Sycophancy

Hello my dear steemians, I have perfected this art of sycophancy. Yes it is sometimes referred to as flattery but honestly it can help you. Some people may refer to it as strategic enthusiasm, but I feel this art is the best way to do things smoothly and easily. Professionally I refer to it as career survival with a high chance of success.

I have done this for years. Back in school I quickly found out how talented I was at sycophancy. Whenever my teacher asked if anyone had done their homework I would always shout "Sir your explanation was perfect so there was no need for homework as your words are so much better than the books. I have everything in my head"

The teacher would always smile at me. This taught me a valuable life lesson. Some may call it sycophancy but I believe "Honesty is a virtue but knowing when to compliment is priceless."

In the work place I have perfected this into performance art. When my superior has an idea I always just nod and lean forward with big eyes and whisper "Sir this is not just an idea this is a vision!"

Source

If they suggest changing a meeting date from Monday to Tuesday I will say "Thank you sir as I was busy with my project on Monday so it will be a lovely change to the weekly calendar." Or if they send me an email with 3 spelling mistakes I will compliment them on how human the email was.

I have learnt that a real sycophant will never just agree. If my senior says "I think we should try this" I will say "Honestly I was thinking the same thing but you have said it so much clearer!" Or if they change their mind I will say "That is why you are our leader and your ability to change things quicker than us is amazing."

All of my compliments are very specific. I never just say good job. I leave that for amateurs. I will say things like "How you handled that situation shows how emotionally intelligent, strategically intelligent and confident you are. You could probably negotiate with a to intelligent guy!" This will cost you nothing, only 10 seconds and make them feel like a mix of Nelson Mandela, Warren Buffett, Zuckerberg and Elon Musk.

Sycophancy takes discipline. You can’t compliment everyone the same or it will look suspicious. I always compliment my boss with huge metaphors. My seniors with respectful compliments. My juniors with uplifting comments. And my office intern with "Your skills are very subtle and the organisation doesn’t realise how amazing they are."

I am very good at this in meetings. I will always take notes when a powerful person is speaking even if they are saying "We should get lunch." I will laugh at the right time. Not too early to look desperate. Not too late to look like I have my own thoughts. When there is a silence I will say "That is a very important point!" Even if it wasn’t an important point, or an unimportant point or accidentally about printer ink or dead computers.

Some people criticise me for having no opinions of my own. This really upsets me as I instantly agree. "You are completely right! I have been thinking the same thing but you have said it with so much bravery!" I will compliment them on their bravery. Everyone will feel validated and I will have made another ally.

People say it’s dishonest but I disagree (respectfully). I am not lying I am just pointing out the possibilities. If my manager is wearing an unusual shirt I won’t say it’s beautiful if it isn’t. I will say "That shirt has a lot of personality!" Or if the food in the office canteen is legally a punishment I will say "They are really playing with textures today!"

Ultimately sycophancy is just limitless diplomacy. Making powerful people feel seen, valued and slightly invincible. A sycophant will never cause problems. They will create comfortable lies. In a world full of stress, deadlines and awkward elevator conversations who wouldn’t want to be told they are brilliant before 9am?

However there are risks. I once complimented my boss so much he asked me to lead the next project. I panicked. My talent for agreeing was useless as everyone wanted my real opinion. I looked around the room and said "I think we should do whatever you all think is best."

There was a pause.

"That wasn’t helpful."

For the first time in years I disagreed.

But I quickly got back into my stride. Smiled, nodded and said "You’re right. That wasn’t helpful. Thank you for your feedback, it’s exactly what we need as a team."

And I was back to my best. Agreeing, clapping and gracefully climbing to the top with my carefully chosen compliments. After all I am a marketing professional with smart work ethics @solperez

I can give you many examples from my personal life and of course this site. Users are saying one thing privately and something completely different in the comments.

I invite @kouba01 @jyoti-thelight and @mahadisalim